Yes, it was very nice to see Torbjörn in my studio at Konstepidemin!

He walked around talking to me as he was taking pictures of what he could see of my ongoing work for his mask-journey. But he behaved very well! He looked for angles that didn't betrayed too much what was going on – and I´m sure that he even blurred most of his photos.
Then we went to The Blue House-restaurant at Konstepidemin, were the artists in the area have a very lively social exchange at lunchtime. Even though many of my colleagues had a "long time no see” – thing with Torbjörn, I managed to capture his attention telling him about how his masks had made a tour to see my mother for her eighty-eight years birthday.
And this is the story he asked me to share with you:

Together with the masks I took the train to Habo, a village two hours away from Göteborg. Inside my bag was also what I needed to create a little photo-studio in my mothers living room.
My sister and brother were also there and my plan was to take pictures of them and of my mother, with and without the mask. I had already started with my son and daughter, as well as with myself in Göteborg. Another reason to come was a meeting we were going to have with a nurse and a social-worker from the local authority about our mothers present and coming needs.

For me there´s always a mental strain involved in going back “home”, connected with going back to the past. I realise how time flies and how we all are getting older. I see it in my mother as well as in my brother and sister faces. Seeing myself in the mirror I feel as my life is creeping up behind me. And on top of it all, our father is dead and mother is loosing her memory ... Oh, do you see how miserable it can get! What to do to cheer up?
Time to put on the mask!

It was the masks that gave me the idea to take organized portraits of the closest family. I wanted to investigate the similarities and differences between us. For example, how would our differences appear when we were wearing the same mask. In what way would we act differently physically, behave differently towards each other? And most important, I wanted to collect a material to explore and to go on working with in my studio.

Then, when it came to real-life in Habo, questions came up weather to participate or not. A situation that I hoped wouldn't turn up. To be photographed wearing the mask was not the big problem. Together with Torbjörns text about the project, the masks seemed just exciting and fascinating, maybe something exotic. No, it was to sit without the mask, not knowing where the picture would be exposed that was the biggest problem! Thinking about it now, this problem makes this mask-journey even more interesting as it also makes our face of flesh and blood, visible. What's there to hide? Our identity? Our vulnerability? Our naked face? Our shame? Then it also comes to my mind; that some masks, especially the ritual mask, could have the function of releasing us under its cover - protecting us, in the same time as it is exposing us ... So, maybe it's possible that a mask could help something private to be communicated into the public.

I had already presented the idea and my wish to take pictures of our family. This more as a fact than a question. Because, why would anyone question weather to or not to participate? So why awake the question? Should they not trust me, being their brother and all ..! But still, even if I´m their brother it's not strange to worry, specially as I´m an artist. In the history of art- and literature as well as in the contemporary debate there're many example were individuals has their private lives exposed.
Even so, I see the private sphere and the relationships within the family as something political and something too important to be hidden and left in the dark. It's important to investigate the tricky limits around privacy and how open it's possible to be. But one thing is for sure: It's easy to step on sore toes on our way! For example, what does it mean to be loyal to ones family? I claim that everybody have the right to their own history and to make it public if they want to. But the aspects around the limits between the private and public are very sensible to everybody. I think that a feeling of being exposed often is connected to shame. The feeling of shame seem to be one of the most powerful feelings, and in its negative aspect it's maybe the most dangerous emotion of all.
Sensitive issues in general makes the form of what you want to communicate very important and as important as your purpose! The more tricky and sensitive subject, the more skill and care is needed to give it form.

Back in the living-room:
Before the birthday-dinner it was time to take the photos. I covered my grandmothers big painting over the sofa with my black sheet I brought for the night. Then I put a mirror to reflect the light from the window towards the dark side of the face of the one who was going to sit there on the couch.
I was still worried that mother would not like to be photographed, maybe even refuse. And would any of them like to put on a hard wooden mask, used before and by whom? But why not, I argued inside myself; It's not every day you are offered the experience of wearing and seeing your self in a mask, playing with our identity and to do this together with your own family! But, I thought:
“I better warm them up by starting without the mask”.

My mother was first to start. To my relief she even seemed eager to pose. Soon she looked like she had entered another and a better world. Excited, I noticed the great things I could see through my camera and as I didn't want it to end I let her know how great she was! Her reaction, to my compliments about her good looks and skills as a model, were:
- It's just because I'm looking at you with love!
Well, I was happy about that ... But no time to dwell on that, we had to continue with the mask-pictures. First she took the smallest of the two masks in her hands and started by loudly sniff into it, asking:
- How many have used this mask before?
- I'm just the second artist to have it … I answered with some hesitation, not knowing what that meant in numbers of faces.
I don't know how much difference that answer made, but she just put the mask over her face.
“Brave done mother”, I thought thinking about all the warnings she has given me over the years about germs!
When I saw her wearing the mask, I noticed that her movements somehow were released and made her act more animated from before and move her head more freely.
“This is a another great and a unique moment”, I said to myself and didn't want to stop taking pictures.

Just like me, my sister love to pose. But now she was emotionally stressed and tired by putting a lot of worries and attention towards our mother. So when it was her turn, she allowed herself to look just as exhausted as she was and said in a deep exhale:
- Well, this is the way I feel ...
Still, she was enough happy to be in focus so it didn't took her very long before she looked her best. She relaxed and was soon as beautiful as always, just by being there. The magic was repeated.

Then my brother said that he maybe didn't want to be a part of this.
“Here it comes”, I thought.
- Please, I pleaded!
He started to ask a lot of questions about the purpose and in what context the pictures would be shown. Without the mask he could be recognized. I tried to explain. Still, he didn't want to say yes. The others argued in favour of his case. I felt my panic rising and wanted to tell him he had to, even forcing him somehow! I suddenly felt like I was small again with my older brother trying to stop me from getting what belong to me. But I had to take myself together and went on explaining about my ideas, much more than I liked to, just to make him say yes. And in the end he did say yes!
A moment later he looked as he was almost happy to sit in front me.
“Puh, this was a cliffhanger!”, I thought as I noticed how this situation defined our different personalities and position within the family.
Trying on both masks The first born started to get more and more involved. He showed me what a difference it made if his mouth was open to better fit the opening of the mask. I realized that I'd missed that detail earlier!
We agreed to concentrate on the bigger, more masculine mask, even if it were a bit too big for our family's small sized sculls. More than I'd seen before, I noticed that the big mask had a kind of gorilla-look that also reinforced the difference between male and female looks. He then asked our sister to hurry back to sit for some more photos with the small mask. I don't know what my mother thought, maybe it was this primitive animalistic aspect that made her so amused. But by seeing her daughter and son wearing the masks, she burst out laughing her head off. What a joy to see her so light-hearted! Yes, thanks to the masks this moments became the highlights of her birthday.
- I haven't laughed this much in years, she said!


With this story and its happy ending, knock in woood … I say thanks for me and thanks to you for taking part of the mask-journey so far!
I also wish the next mask-carrier a happy relationship with the two masks!

Nils Ramhøj